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The Anatomy of a Sublease Ad

My first order of business in becoming free of home would be to put my apartment up for sublease.

The beauty about the rental market in Los Angeles, at least for a subletter like myself, is that there is such a transient nature to the place. People come to Los Angeles to fulfill their dreams. When I arrived here two years ago from back east, I was struck at renters being so defensive about emphasizing that their property was only available for a year lease. After one property manager began to go into great detail about the terms of breaking his lease after less than five minutes of speaking with him, I stopped to ask him why everyone was so preoccupied with lease duration.

“People are flaky here,” he said.

After living here for a couple years, I can definitely understand the sentiment. Los Angeles can be a difficult place to navigate. And in a city centered around the ambition of the entertainment industry, an opportunity for fame and fortune is as likely as the reality that the person presenting that chance is simply taking advantage of you. Where the line is blurred between friendship and networking, and a lunch date might result in hours spent in sun-soaked gridlock, it is an easy place to find yourself feeling lost and unsupported. Add to that a high cost of living, a strong emphasis on the marketable image, and an extremely competitive job market, and many people find the challenges here are more than they care to bear.

But beyond the difficulties of living in LA, there is an equally hypnotizing charm about the place. Time seems to stand still here, blissfully stagnant with seemingly unchanging summer season. The siren call of sunshine highlights the allure of a town that seems to attract all things beautiful, natural and otherwise. In my short time here, I have seen many people live well beyond their means in the name of engaging that beauty.

My job as a renter, then, would be to make sure I selected someone who was responsible enough to engage the culture here without losing sight of the terms of our rental contract (or losing my keys). I planned on keeping some of my belongings in the place while I lived elsewhere, and I had a great relationship with a few of the neighbors with whom I shared (extremely thin) walls. Among my main concerns was being able to return to the place after this was all done without much changing. I wanted my stuff to be intact and the relationship with my closest neighbors to be preserved.

The trick would be to achieve this all while selling the local lifestyle. Aside from my immediate neighbors, I live in a twenty-unit apartment complex where many of the residents seem to spend more time lighting up joints than punching a time clock. Although everyone was generally friendly, I did, on the occasional Tuesday at 3am, have to kindly remind a new tenant and his friends that it was a worknight and there might be areas other than directly across from my bedroom window to finish their Coronas. Without a doubt, my work was cut out for me.

So I drafted an ad that I thought captured the essence of what I was trying to achieve:

Flexible date agreement available for a L.A. studio apartment. The area is vibrant, young, sometimes noisy, and very friendly. I’m really not sure why you are looking elsewhere. This is the best affordable studio on the sublease market! This cozy (read: small) second-floor single features hardwood floors, new appliances, full bathroom (cactus included), a full stove and refrigerator, and has been well-maintained during my two years here. It will be furnished as well. Monthly rate totally non-negotiable. This includes your gas, electric, water, and personal parking spot right in front of the building. Fair disclosure: It does not include television/cable or a microwave (sorry, I’m a total Stone Ager). Well, maybe I can find you a microwave…
I will be moving back in after your sublet is up, so I’m looking for someone who is extremely respectful of the space (like, you don’t smoke inside or punch holes in the walls) and my neighbors (you’re courteous about your noise levels and can totally park within the lines). I’ll be in the area during your lease, so if you need anything I’ll be easy to get a hold of. Ideally, I am looking for someone to take the place for a couple months between now and December. I only expect you to honor the agreement once it’s made. Email me for more info and to schedule a time to see the place. I’ll be showing it this week, mostly in the evenings, to folks who are sincerely interested. I look forward to hearing from you!Thanks,

TOH

It was a Sunday evening when I posted it on Craigslist. The journey, it seemed, was underway.

 – TOH

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