I wrote a poem about Rob. It goes a little something like this:

plumber at my door
wants to get into apartment
needs the key
the key to the apartment
you know
to get into the apartment
just like we discussed
yesterday
just like I discussed with Rob
Rob, respect-er of repairmen
Rob, cooperate-er of contracts
Rob, agree-er of availability
availability of the (now) only key to the apartment
the (now) only key to a working toilet
the (now) only key to my sanity
Rob
fucking Rob
answer your phone, Rob
make good on your word, Rob
not even for me
don’t do it for me
no, do it for the plumber
for the punctual Plunger Proletariat
witness this water closet wonder at work
delight in his defecation disappearing act
claim concierge to this Copperfield of the Coriolis Effect
motherfucking Rob
you are the stubborn turd clogging my drainpipe
you are the foul, discarded waste
soon to be flushed with counter-clockwise velocity
forever into septic oblivion

– TOH