This week should have been a celebration. Monday marked my 365th consecutive day of home-free living, a grand total of 407 days during The Office Hobo experiment. As luck would have it, a newly ordered memory foam mattress was delivered to the office door that afternoon, as if to signal that it was time to rest easy. I walked through the office with the oversized package without a look from my coworkers, and set it unceremoniously behind my desk. Despite the well-timed delivery, there was no celebration on Monday. I had no real reason for this to be the case. This day hadn't marked the end of my experiment, so there was no fanfare about leaving the office. There was no revelatory event or office-related...
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It has been a while since my last update. I owe my audience so much in the way of stories, it's nearly overwhelming. Many things have happened over the last month and a half. Things I will struggle to summarize here on this page. I continue to find myself discouraged for not being able to tell this story openly, but I'll do my best and give some highlights here. Thank you for checking back to see how my experiment is going! Today marks a milestone. 400 days of home-free living. Not only that, but in one week I will have lived this way for an entire year, uninterrupted. Well... perhaps I should say "continuously" instead. On January 28, 2013, I moved out of my place permanently and moved back into my office after...
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Monday, November 18 will mark my 340th day of home-free living. And while living this way has become simpler--routine, even--writing about it has become more of a challenge. I've found that there is a sizable gap between my old posts and present-day. Plenty has materialized that I haven't had a chance to report. At least not in the way that I'd prefer to present it. I am, after all, a perfectionist. Go perfect or go home(-free). A lot has transpired in the life of the hobo over the past 2-3 months. From largely unreported romantic developments to unrelenting demands for creative projects and a rise in home-free awareness thanks to a surge in entertainment industry interest in my experiment. Each has demanded...
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No one wants to shower in a stall smeared in another man's shit. When I walked into the 24 Hour Fitness at 9:00pm on a Friday, my goal was to get in and out quickly. The gym is sparsely attended at this hour, with most members opting to be elsewhere, likely engaging in some activity counterproductive to their health. I saw this as a great time to get in and out easily, unlike my normal pre- or post-workday rush hours when the locker rooms are packed with 9-5'ers. And in a way, I got what I expected. The locker room was a veritable ghost town. I was accompanied only by two other men, a white-haired toothpick of a man whom I've seen on multiple occasions fall asleep on the core strengthening room mats, and...
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Last week, the L.A. Weekly published an article I wrote outlining my experiment in home-free living. As one might expect, the article inspired a wide range of reactions. From disbelief to awe, from curiosity to outrage, readers made their reactions known through public comments and private messages. It's a common phenomenon by now. Small public fora pop up after nearly every posted article, news post, or YouTube video, and many of which devolve into heated debates on the disputed citizenship of our president or the promiscuity of Playa_187's mom. It's a given: Death, taxes, and unstructured, almost feral reactionary comments. So when my article was set for release, I prepared for the onslaught. I've had...
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I think someone else is sleeping in my building. A few months ago I started to notice a van parked in front of the building at odd hours. I'd only see it in the evenings, and it was always parked in front of the same business. (For the sake of anonymity, I'll call it a watch repair shop. Trust me when I say it's just as benign.) This gray van began to show up every night. I'd pretend to go home after work and it'd be there, vacant, predictable. Meanwhile, the watch repair shop would always be open well past dark, its door wide open to accommodate wandering eyes. It's as plain as the nose on your face. The expression was always big in my family. My uncle might use it to describe a seemingly obvious attempt...
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You may start, as you do with many things, by making a list. Item One: Locate the world’s most beautiful woman. Item One-A: If you cannot locate the world’s most beautiful woman, look harder. A woman of this sort is likely elusive. You may have missed her. Item One-B: Abandon hope. This is normal. They say it is when you stop searching that you find what you are looking for. This is not to be believed. Searches are commonly misguided in the first place; surveillance teams scour the landscape for clues leading to the right answer to a wrong question. The world was many shapes before it was discovered round. Fantasy treasure fools many into leading entire lives devoted to its unearthing. A series of...
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When you return to your office after an evening workout and a Quiznos dinner, the last thing you expect to find is your office door swinging open in the breeze. It was a Tuesday when it happened, at 7:45pm. No one was inside. No one was nearby. Only some random passersby, totally ignorant that the door to my work has been open to the world, leaving the contents unattended for the last two or three hours. Thousands of dollars of computer equipment, pricey furniture, and cash on hand. Not to mention all of my personal stuff. I had left the office at 4:45pm this afternoon, eager to fit in a workout and a meal before an overdue phone conversation with my friend Mitchell. My two coworkers were still in the...
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There is little better way to express one's independence in America than hitting the highway on a spontaneous road trip. The freedom of an unmarked calendar. The upheaval of the workweek routine. The chance to meet new and interesting people. Except, of course, when those people are law enforcement officers who take a disliking to you. Last week, I drove east from Los Angeles to southwestern Utah, looping north to the mountains in east-central Nevada before making the long trip back home. Well over 20 hours of driving in three days' time. A testament to the whimsy of a solo adventurer hell-bent on seeing new land--and an old car as reliable as a Somali mule. And the perfect itinerary for an introvert...
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Today, I celebrate 200 days of office living by taking a vacation! My current trip takes me to Utah and Nevada, an exploration of wilderness unparalleled except by my last trip! I see plenty of news on the horizon (pun intended). Check back soon for details! -...
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